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Tuesday, October 11, 2011


MAY 12, 2011
3:40 PM

photo by: Emily Opida
Lasty May 7, 2011, we had our photoshoot for the Resort 2011. Our Erzullie Icon present was Marian Beltran, an AB - Consular and Diplomatic Affairs graduate. We chose her because of her inspiring story as a plus size woman and also the passion to love herself more. Here is her interview! ^^


Name: Marian Angelica Anzures Beltran
Erzullie Size: It fluctuates from L to XL. :) (from the charts it's 3L)
College course/Current Work: it's AB - Consular and Diplomatic Affairs


Interests... wow... i would say, MUSIC. Actually, it's more of a lifestyle. Even before I was born, my mum and dad have great taste in music. So, while growing up, I took in their love for music, and had it flowing through my veins. I listen to music a lot. As in, a WHOLE lot. It even already reached the point that the speakers were too much of a mainstay in our bathroom, so I have decided to just leave it there.
Another hobby, for now, would have to be writing. I said for now, because I was hoping I could make it into a profession but I kind of lost my spark with it, so, I am trying to rekindle that. hehe.

Why did you apply as an Erzullie Icon? (How where you able to know about it and what compelled you to apply?)
I applied as an icon, basically, to challenge myself and my new found love for my body.
I came upon the ad at as I was researching for a friend's thesis. My friend's thesis was about her opening up a line of fashionable formal gowns for plus-sized women. I got extremely excited because, in my head, it would be a good opportunity for me to be able to have these amazing opportunities, but, at the same time, be appreciated for who I was physically. It never really did occur to me that my application will be noticed and never in my dreams would I thought I would be at this point already. :)

Tell us your story when you applied as an Erzullie Icon. How was it?
It was nerve racking. :)) Since I was doing the thesis, I was extremely distracted because I would constantly check my email inbox if ever they already replied to my application. Every time they replied, I would hold my breath and sigh out a squeal of excitement. (like a fan girl) :))

When they told me they were interested, it really didn't matter much to me how long it took me to meet them. In my head, I was like, "At least I got their attention." So, when the time came that I met Aries, I was worked up with joy and excitement. So worked up, in fact, that I had myself go to the parlor to fix my hair and make-up and everything. :)) In lieu to my excitement, I forgot my contact lenses, so my eye make-up were hidden behind my specs. In my curls (I had my hair fixed up in tight curls that made me look like Shirley Temple with black hair.) I greeted (more like stuttered) Aries while she was sitting, writing in her Starbucks planner.

At the end of the interview (if you would put it like that), my partner, situated at a nearby table, told me we looked like friends who haven't met each other in a long time. I took that as a good sign, and, lo and behold, the rest was history. :)


On the set, what was it like? Did you have fun? Why or why not?
I had the GREATEST TIME. Since it was my first shoot, I wanted to be as professional as I can be. I didn't want to be a burden or I didn't want others to think of me as a dive. But everyone was so nice, friendly and accommodating. Even our little time at the pool was awesome. :D I didn't feel like the odd one out, and I felt like I've been part of the group since day 1.
What was the hardest part during the shoot? Did you struggle? How did you get over it?
The hardest part was, hands down, was wearing my shoes. :)) Since I just borrowed my shoes, they didn't fit me as well as how Aries' shoes fit them. I didn't want my pain to show in the pictures, so I tried hard (and I prayed) that my poses and facial expressions be as normal, hot and fierce as needed.
I got over it, I think, by being focused on the shoot. I had the thrive to deliver good photos and for me to get the shots. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. In my head, I WANTED THEM TO WANT ME BACK. So, I had that thrive all throughout the shoot. :)


What was the hardest part as an Erzullie Icon?

I guess it was, since I am not a professional model, holding up the standards that Ms. Jaye Querubin and Ms. Kristel Ocampo help up being previous icons for the first half of the Resort 2011 collection. I felt I didn't want to let down the owners for choosing me, but, at the same time, I also want to bring it on because I would be representing almost all of the plus-sized women out there. :)
Did being an Erzullie Icon change your life or sense of self? How so and Why or Why not?

It has, actually, changed my life so much. Being accepted, I loved my body more, even taking care of myself more. It has also given me a sense of acceptance and fulfillment that it IS possible to get what you want if you put your mind into it, no matter how skinny of curvy you may be. :)

As an Erzullie Icon, what do you plan to do? Why or why not?
I plan on, perhaps, if it is possible, to open myself up to modeling (perhaps lang naman. :P ) I also want to stay in Erzullie. You guys opened up all new options and possibilities for me, that I want to give back to you, too, with my loyalty and perseverance. :) So, hopefully, more fashion shoots, projects and fashion shoots in the near future! :D
Do you have any insecurities? What are they? How did you overcome them?
Of course I have insecurities. :) I think that insecurities are what makes us most human. There will always be someone better in what we do, someone more good looking, or someone that your parents would prefer.

My biggest insecurity, however, I'd have to say, used to be my body. I was never small for my age. I would always be one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, in every class I was in. My mother, perhaps in an attempt to make me change myself, would make me feel as if I was the biggest person I know. I guess I am lucky to have my dad beside my mother. (This is a perfect example of having opposites attract, but, at the same time, have them balance out each other.)

My dad made me realize that being big is not even close to being bad as how my mum would put it. One night, while going out with my friends (One of whom is actually a model in London, and the other, just gotten shmexy) I texted my dad how tiny my friends are. He replied (and I still have the text to prove it) "Big are sexy and beautiful. Nasa confidence yan, nak." With what he said, I finally realized that big, is, in fact, beautiful. I started becoming more at home with my body, so, my confidence slowly began showing.

In a way, you can say that I am still trying to overcome my insecurities. But, pretty soon, VERY soon, all my inhibitions would be gone. :)


What's your story as a plus size woman? (State your personal struggle as a plus size woman and how you overcame it)

I used to get teary eyed every time I would remember my memories as a kid. I was constantly called names like balyena, Dabiana and the like. Mostly behind my back, but, most of the time, they say it straight to my face. My constant recitation record wasn't much of a help, either. Since I would recite so much in class, it only pushed most of my classmates to hate me more and become a center of their laughing stock. I guess this is what made me become so sensitive to the littlest of things.

I guess you can say that my friends also added up to the struggles I had. Not because they called me names and treated me badly, but because they were beautiful. I am actually (un?)fortunate enough to have friends who are extremely attractive. But, honestly, how much of a blow was it for me that no one took interest in me because they would always do a bee-line towards one of them? More so, they seem to always make themselves look better. What with them losing their baby fats and what not.

It came to a point that I would be text mates with people first, just so that I can make them to fall in love with me. Being behind the phone was so much of a comfort for me, that I made my life online and through these anonymous friendships.

But, ever since I had my partner with me, I found out that someone can actually look past the looks, and start noticing my personality. She was the first person who embraced my inner beauty that she made me feel at home being in my birthday suit. She would make me feel as if I was the most beautiful and the sexiest (and I do mean sexy as in sexy in all aspects) woman alive. With her, I was able to overcome these memories and was even able throw them the finger. (hehehe. excuse my french.)

What piece of advice can you give to other plus size women out there?
Wow... That's a tough one. It's hard for me to come up with any form of advice because they say that saying is easier than doing. But, I would advise them that they should love themselves more. No matter what other people say to you, you still have the final word on how you feel. I know it's hard, forcing yourself to be as appreciative of yourself if others are less supportive, but, if you open up yourself to loving your body and every aspect of your whole being, everything else will follow. Soon, you will exude the confidence you were lacking before, even making yourself feel and BE better. Next thing you know, people will notice that there is a difference in your aura and they will start looking at you, yes, all curviness of you, in a different light.
They say if you attract the positive thoughts, you will attract positive results. (err.. something like that.)

Aries De Guzman

BTS photos: Aries De Guzman
Hair and Make Up: Acie De Guzman
Hair: Jopee Genato
Styling: Bernalyn Cuevas
Official Photos: Emily Loren Opida