I want to tell you something right now. You have to save yourself. Only you can do that and no one else. People can keep on encouraging you to do this, advice you to do that, burn their eardrums trying to listen and understand you, but if you do not do this for yourself --- then no amount of effort in the world will every make a difference to you.
I have learned that yesterday. I was feeling down and worthless. I felt uninspired and listless and honestly? As a person with broad spirituality (at least, I try), I was hoping that the heavens would send some sort of spark within me to electrify me at least. Make me feel alive again.
No one came. No one did. At that moment of waiting, it was only I still in that bed --- alone.
No one was going to save me, but me. I have realized.
People may view that as a bad thing, as a sad thing, that we live in a world where only WE can save ourselves.
I see this is a good thing. I see this as a moment of power. It’s actually a liberating thing. We can get out of the situation we have placed us in, anytime that we want. All we have to do is to choose to do so.
You want to wake up loving yourself? Decide to do so. Commit to it every day as much as you can. You will falter, yes. There will be times that you want to just end it all and give up, but what’s really important is the fact that you decide to continue.
Beat rocks for all I care just to pound out the sadness, but make the choice that in the end, choose to heal up. Choose the healthier choice. Choose yourself. Choose to love yourself and save yourself from all the current horrors that you are in.
Doesn’t matter if you were successful. The point is you did it. And in the end, no matter what was the outcome? I assure you --- you survived longer than you thought you did.
And with those thoughts, I have decided to get out of bed, dress up, get some books and soak myself with some deep self-loving. I went out to a café and read. I have realized at that point, I am so glad I have made that choice. If I didn’t save myself that day, I wouldn’t be typing this message to all of you, ladies.
Hopefully, this will inspire you to keep on going, because point of the matter is that feeling down and out is part of life. It's what we do with it that matters more.