I HAVE THREE JOBS because I can and I love making money off my specific set of skills. And it’s with the causality of these actions, do I find myself being able to live and function in this planet.
Destiny’s Child said it, “Ladies it ain’t easy being independent.” --- and boy were they right. If you want to fully support yourself, you really should know the fact that it costs a lot. In fact, you are supposed to “earn that lot and more” to survive and thrive in this world.
So before you paint me in your head as this woman of the “Sex and The City” kind of variety --- I want to tell you there are times that it gets too much and I feel like my head is about to explode, I freeze and do nothing.
There are days that I will find myself with 30 pending tasks plus the personal ones that I need to attend to. For a woman whose whole life was all about chanting the beauty of “self-love”, I find myself drowning in obligations, while my hair, body and face needed a wash and my spirit was crying desperately for me to just STOP.
I know. Gross.
But duty calls. I had to tick off tasks given to me by my boss, fulfill my obligation AS A BOSS and also cater to my clients. Aside from that, I also have to worry about other personal obligations to myself and my loved ones. All of which have HIGH LEVELS of priority.
And then this got me thinking --- how can I go on like this? Clearly, I can’t drop all of them and just let everything become a bigger mess. However, I am clearly stressed out to the point that I can’t move anymore. I just wanted to cry in the corner.
I tried looking for comfort from other people. All I got though was, “Awww… you’re stressed.” It frustrated me even more. That’s it? That’s all that I am going to get? But then again, why am I asking for another person to make things better for me?
Only I can make things better for me --- curse of an independent woman I guess. And the only way that I can make things better is if I get some rest.
And so amidst the chaos of my 30 (ghosts) tasks, I have decided to care for myself first. I took a shower and dressed up fierce. After that my tone was different. The feeling of helplessness was gone and I was able to finish majority of the tasks that I have.
It’s pretty amazing if you ask me.
And so for the women who are inspiring to be independent, be prepared to get down and dirty too. Being one seems fabulous but it requires a lot of inner strength to pull through. Being independent means that you can only really depend on yourself. So you have to ask the question --- are you ready to give YOUR SELF --- your all?
Erzullie is an invite-only fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Get invited: www.erzullie.com