Or could it be your stomach?
I just had a nice evening earlier and it has been a while since I have attended to my own spiritual/creative needs. I know that us Erzulliestas we are all about work, achieving goals and living life with fabulous friends, family and travels. However, there is a time wherein part of us want to go within and be a recluse for a moment. And I am glad that I took time for myself tonight. It got me to thinking.
Everyone in the world is telling you to follow your heart. But, truth be told, I always find it hard to discern if it was just my head talking to me in the first place.
Have you ever thought about it?
How do you even discern “the voice of the heart from the voice of the head” in the first place?
The reason that I have arrived to this question is that recently, I have always found myself at crossroads. Like I want to watch a movie, but then again I am thinking that my budget would be better elsewhere. And even when I decide to have dinner. I feel like I want to have curry, but then it’s better if I choose something healthier like a salad.
I love that I always present all the possible options to myself. The more informed choice, the better I always say. But one thing about me is that I can argue for BOTH sides --- and that is where it always gets me.
They say follow your heart when choosing --- but who am I listening to?
After the night of full creative fun, I am now here in bed full of inspiration. I have just realized that what I did earlier --- lit a candle, burned some incense, did some journaling and creative free fall writing --- all of that was just a “present” thing. When I did all of those things, it did not matter what would be the next step. I was just focused on the present step and ravished the point by point of the creative endeavor.
And I think at that point, I knew that it was my heart directing my action.
The heart doesn’t know past or future. It only knows the present. It only knows what is on hand and what makes it feel good, creative and passionate. It sees what it sees now and goes, “Yeah. This feels good. Let’s keep on doing it.”
From that, I finally have a contrast on my “head voice”. My head is more of, “Okay. I see the present. Let me present to you the past lessons we have gathered so that we can achieve a specific future that we said we wanted earlier.”
My brain acknowledges the present situation and uses the power of the past lessons to jumpstart a domino effect of events to create a future that I wanted.
My head knows time. My heart, on the other hand, only knows the feeling of now.
And as of writing, I think this should be explored more. I feel like I am in a cusp of something empowering. Will share it more soon.