In a society where being in your 30's, plus size, single and female is a "deplorable" crime, Erzullie designer, Berna Cuevas, proves to be the "Queen Pin" of them all. This fierce plus size designer is now sharing her thoughts on why she is willing to do the "time" for this "single crime".
#1 You are single right now. By choice or chance? Why so?
Yes, I'm single right now and by choice. I have experienced the pressure of the society (specifically relatives), that women should at least marry in a specific age. And that makes me sad, feeling that I have never achieved anything.
At my age (going 31 to be exact) to be complete as a woman, you should have a husband and children but all of them I don't have. But the thing is, right now, being single works perfectly for me. I have the liberty to discover who I am and how I want my life to be. Because of that, I have learned to appreciate little things around me and love myself more.
#2 For you, single plus size women --- sad or sexy?
Size doesn't matter. Like Aries said, being SEXY is relative. When I was in college, I look younger, and smaller (size 12) than my size today. I was so annoyingly insecure to the point that I thought no one can love me because of my size. But now, looking at my old pictures--- I was smaller but I look way more beautiful and happy now that I have gained weight.
My typical weekday, I dedicate my time working. But whenever I have time, I usually do Poi Dancing, play Ukelele, learning new places to visit someday and explore good food around BGC.
Weekend is my Erzullie time. I usually express my creativity through Erzullie from creating new collection, conceptualizing photo-shoots to hair-styling. After shoot, I am able to hang out with my Erzullie family.
#3 Why do you think there is so much pressure for women to get married at a specific age?
I think one of the factors --- It was pass-on tradition from our ancestors. Thinking the only way to fulfill a young woman is through marriage. But over the years it changes, there's a lot of opportunities to travel the world, ways to discover oneself, a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something. And maybe, like me-- it is fine to feel happy without getting married.
I can say I’m not affected because I really don’t care what my relatives/society think about me. I mean, for me it is better to feel that I WANT to have a relationship instead of I NEED to have a relationship.
#4 Do you really think that being single is a choice? Why or why not?
Yes it is really a choice. I'm not saying I have negative views about relationship and love. I actually constantly date. It’s just my choice to be single right now.
Being plus size does not affect my relationship status. Size has nothing to do with relationships. I believe every woman has their own values and choice.
#5 Aren’t you afraid of being “alone” in the future, if you keep this up? (Being single)
To be honest, I have stopped thinking about the future. I choose to embrace, what I have today. I'm not closing possibility to meet new people, and who knows? Maybe there is that one person who would be brave enough to unsingle me.
To all single ladies, you have the power to choose-- TO BE HAPPY AND FREE.
Being a single independent woman is an opportunity. Opportunity to know yourself--- to feel and appreciate your blessings around you. You have a high-paying career, best of friends that you can rely on, a family that supports you, a luxury to experience great vacation, and of course YOU HAVE a fabulous rocking body.
Every woman deserves a better man, maybe not today but every single day is one step to find the one you that will take you to UNSINGLE.