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Saturday, December 23, 2017


You know why there are people that you don’t prefer in your life? They are there to be a reminder of what you will never do. So you have to thank them. They are the Universal placeholder of what your real preferences are.

This was the conversation that I had with one of my Erzullie Icons earlier and it rang true for the rest of the day.

I had a conversation later on with another woman. We were talking about relationships and she told me that I should feel lucky for being loved the way I was being loved at that moment because “no other man can love me like so, with the way that I look, think and talk.”

As soon as those words came out of her mouth, every cell, molecule and atom in my body and being just screamed “F*CK NO!”

I can’t believe she said that. This woman was a wonderful woman of course, but I have realized at that point, her own love life is in shambles and she is undergoing some personal battles of her own. I knew that those words described her more than me.

I wanted to say, “Maybe for you.” But thank goodness for self-control and compassion. I allowed her to explore that view.

She then proceeded to tell me how her current lover would be angry if “she dressed, looked, talked and thought” like I do. Her current lover wouldn’t have it. (By the way, earlier that day, she told me how fashionable and stylish I looked, while she looked too unkempt even for her own taste. So I don’t understand what is NOT to love about the way that I look.)

And then I told her, “And that’s why I am not with him.”

She looked at me not knowing what to say. She was adamant that when push comes to shove, when it comes to relationships, I should be “thankful” that the love that I was receiving at that point was being given at all.

Another huge, big, magnanimous “F*CK NO.” Is this woman kidding me? She just described love like a scrap on the master’s table and I am scrawny little stray dog on the side begging to be given it. OH MY GOODNESS NO. Not me. This is not the type of woman that I prefer to be.

Love, for me, is like an endless buffet that is free for everyone to partake and no matter how much we take and give, it’s always going to be there. It all depends on how we handle that buffet.

I told her loud and clear, “I am a beautiful, intelligent, supportive, sexual, loyal, money-making woman --- many men would love to love me.” And then I ended it with, “I always say, we are what we talk about at times.”

After that, a moment of silence. We then went on to shop.

Erzulliestas, I just want to tell you right now --- LOUD AND CLEAR. There will always be a man that would love to love you. Why?

#1 Not all men are the same (just like women). With a lot of men going around this Earth, there is bound to be that one man who would worship you like a goddess, as much as you would make him feel like a king every day. And don’t tell me there is none because no one on this Earth will ever meet ALL OF THEM.

#2 You have a lot to offer and you know it. Truth of the matter is, you are the only one in this Universe --- even I can’t do what you do. And with that in mind, you have to respect that kind of game. And if you got game, then definitely someone wants to be on your team and WIN with you --- love wise.

#3 If you know you are being your authentic self every day, rest assured that authentic men will also find you. Why? Just look at a store. Let’s take for example, a high-end travel agency with a known price of minimum of half a million per trip and doesn’t do “compromises” like one-two-three gives? Who do you think will actually buy into that? People who can actually afford a half a million per trip and more.

So if you built yourself that way and believe that you are what you say (authentic self), then rest assured that real people who can actually “afford” for you to be in their life will find you. Someone out there is constantly looking for you --- just you and no one else.

Keep the fierce,

Mother Fierce

Erzullie is an invite-only fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: